Capt. Michael Wilson (United) and daughter Lily on the flight deck of a United aircraft at George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

The holidays are a time for reflection, for thinking about our lives and what we want for the future. Ten years ago, Capt. Michael Wilson (United) found himself contemplating Christmases past. Alone on a long overnight trip, the quiet of his hotel room sparked deep introspection. He texted Mary, his wife of more than two decades: “Our home is too quiet. By next Christmas, we need to have a home full of kids or dogs, your choice!” Mary immediately replied, “I was thinking the same thing!” And with that, their adoption journey began.

What followed was a yearlong odyssey of paperwork, background checks, and emotional highs and lows. “It was a rollercoaster,” Wilson remembers, “with seemingly endless documents and forms for various agencies, both in the United States and abroad.” Finally, their application was approved by a reputable Texas-based agency.

As the Wilsons explored potential matches, a video showcasing orphaned children from the eight countries the agency works with captured their attention. One little girl from China, Lily, touched their hearts. “Has she already been adopted? Where is she? I felt connected to her, and I had to find her,” recalls Wilson.

Within days, their caseworker delivered wonderful news: they had located Lily. “I knew that day my daughter was waiting for Mary and me to come get her,” Wilson says.

As a United pilot, Wilson had access to benefits specifically designed to assist families going through the adoption process. Additionally, the pilots’ collective bargaining agreement included ALPA-negotiated life-event language that allowed time off for travel, making it easier for the Wilsons to bring Lily home. The agreement also entitled Wilson to a paid parental leave of absence and time off for Lily’s placement and care, with the option to extend his leave using vacation or sick time. In addition, United offered reimbursement for adoption expenses up to $4,000 and travel assistance. These benefits, however, aren’t universal across all airlines.

The Wilsons’ story reflects a growing trend in the United States. An estimated 1 to 2 million families are waiting to adopt, a significant increase from previous decades, when adoptions peaked in the 1960s with approximately 175,000 occurring annually.

Today, that number has decreased to around 135,000, with about 58,000 domestic and 77,000 international adoptions taking place each year. Industry professionals attribute the huge number of families awaiting adoption to several factors, including the growing acceptance of adoption, infertility challenges, and a simple desire to become loving parents.

This high demand, however, often leads to lengthy wait times. Families can expect to wait an average of two to three years to be matched with a child, with those hoping to adopt infants domestically facing even longer periods. The average wait time varies significantly depending on the type of adoption, the child’s age, and the family’s openness to different races, ethnicities, and family structures.

International adoption, while offering a potentially faster route, comes with its own set of complexities and costs. Expenses typically range from $20,000 to $50,000, influenced by factors such as the child’s country of origin, agency fees, travel expenses, legal fees, and in-country costs like court fees and translation services.

Capt. Todd Lightle (Alaska) and his wife, Erin, had embraced the quiet of their empty nest. Their three sons—two adopted and one biological—had grown up and moved out, leaving a comfortable, if somewhat subdued, rhythm to their lives. Though content, Erin couldn’t deny a lingering desire for the youthful energy that once filled their home. She missed the chatter, the shared meals, and the excitement of their sons’ lives.

Despite enjoying his newfound freedom, Lightle agreed to support Erin’s desire to open their home once more, this time for a five-week hosting experience. They enrolled in a program connecting U.S. families with older children from around the world for summer or winter stays. Lightle anticipated a pleasant, temporary experience—Erin would be busy with the child, and he could focus on his flying schedule.

The program matched them with Sharith, a 14-year-old girl from Colombia. What began as a temporary hosting arrangement quickly blossomed into something far deeper. “Our second weekend with her,” Lightle recalls, “I looked at Erin and said, ‘This is the happiest I’ve been in a long time.’” Their connection with Sharith was undeniable. “We knew she belonged in our family The thought of her going from being an orphan to having two parents and three big brothers filled us with joy.”

The Lightles embarked on an international adoption journey. In 2023, they flew to Bogota, where Colombian law requires a 30-day stay to finalize the adoption process. Disappointingly, Alaska offered no paid leave or travel assistance for adoptive parents. Fortunately, Lightle managed to adjust his schedule and utilize sick leave to fulfill the residency requirement.

“The fact that I travel for a living made navigating the process a bit easier,” he acknowledges. Lightle says he hopes that more families consider participating in hosting and adoption. “These programs give children hope and bring families together. It’s an incredibly rewarding experience.”

This holiday season, the Lightles will celebrate with their expanded family, their lives enriched by the unexpected gift of Sharith. Their story underscores the transformative power of adoption and the importance of contractual provisions that help facilitate families choosing this path.

It’s become easier for those pursuing adoption, with the inclusion of parental-leave language in collecting bargaining agreements and the implementation of state-specific paid family and medical leave laws. And at Alaska, the company recently announced a new adoption and surrogacy assistance program.

The median age of children adopted domestically is four years old. For those adopting from foster care, wait times can be less than a year, as many children in foster care are waiting for permanent homes. Wait times for international adoption vary greatly depending on the country and can range from one to five years or more. Private domestic infant adoption often has the longest wait times, typically ranging from one to seven years, although some agencies report averages of 12–18 months.

F/O Michael Hill (Delta) and his wife, Blair, had always dreamed of building their family through adoption. But they had no idea just how challenging—and rewarding—that journey would be.

“You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve struck up a conversation with a pilot on the flight deck and discovered they’ve adopted a child, or their brother was adopted,” says Hill. “Sometimes you don’t realize how many lives adoption touches.”

F/O Michael Hill (Delta) and his wife, Blair, with son Alpine.

For the Hills, the domestic infant adoption process began with a nine-month home study, a rigorous evaluation of their suitability as parents. By 2023, they were ready to pursue their dream. After a disheartening experience with several adoption agencies, they decided to engage a professional advisor from a company specializing in guiding prospective adoptive parents.

The emotional toll of waiting to adopt a child is often compounded by significant financial challenges and risks. The average cost of a domestic infant adoption is $40,000, but it’s not uncommon for costs to exceed $60,000. Many fees are nonrefundable if the placement fails, a risk that adoptive families must bear.

Fortunately, the Hills were eligible for Delta’s new benefits program, Progyny, which provides adoption reimbursement as part of their family-care resource package. Delta had previously offered employees reimbursement of up to $1,500, but under Progyny, the benefit has increased tenfold to $15,000 per child and $30,000 during the employee’s career with Delta.

In July 2023, the Hills matched with an expectant mother. Over the next three months, they built a bond with her through phone calls, sharing hopes and dreams for the child they were all anticipating. Their son, Alpine, was born in September.

Reflecting on their experience, Hill emphasizes the importance of preparation and support. He often encourages families considering adoption to work with a professional advisor. “Our consultant acted like a union rep, advocating and advising us,” Hill points out. “They were an extra voice in the room, working to protect and guide us.”

The Hills are excited to celebrate this holiday season with Alpine, who is fast approaching being a toddler. Their story, like those of the Wilsons and Lightles, highlights the life-changing power of adoption and the steadfast spirit of adoptive families.

While the path to adoption can be complex and uncertain, the rewards are immeasurable.